


The Journal of Katelyn Trevelyan

by Dragoness31



Series: The Journey of Katelyn Trevelyan [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Diary/Journal, Dreams, F/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoness31/pseuds/Dragoness31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two days ago I was forced to leave my home of…more years than I care to count. Most of my possessions were left behind; the necklace is safe of course, I’m not sure my family would forgive me if I lost it; not that I had much as a mage in a Tower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On the Way to the Conclave

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation.

 

_9:40 Dragon - 16th day of Cassus, Day 1_

_On the Way to the Conclave_

_Two days ago I was forced to leave my home of…more years than I care to count. Most of my possessions were left behind; the necklace is safe of course, I’m not sure my family would forgive me if I lost it; not that I had much as a mage in a Tower. I’ll miss my journals the most, they are a record of my life, my thoughts and my feelings…I saved a few, including the most important one._

_The Circle elected to remain neutral during the rebellion, the one started by a mage in Kirkwall, a friend of the Champion. There were whispers that the Champion and the Hero are related, turns out it’s true, the Champion’s mother was an Amell, same as the hero, I looked it up and found out they’re cousins._

_It’s odd to think of all mages are capable of…a mage was the Hero of Ferelden, she became a Grey Warden and stopped a Blight. A mage was the Champion of Kirkwall, she stopped a Qunari invasion, a desperate First Enchanter who became some sort of strange abomination and a crazy Knight-Commander, who ended up a statue. A mage also blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall and started the rebellion across all of Thedas. The power we have is a bit scary._

_What’s next for mages? Will a mage be the one to stop the rebellion? Will a mage stop some other new major disaster that threatens innocent lives? Given the state of the world and the way people feel about us, I don’t see how that’s possible._

_I went and saw my family. They’d heard there was a problem at the Tower, but there were no details. I told them…some of what happened. They’re shocked, but relieved I’m alive._

_I wish I could sleep at night and not relive what I saw...Templars killing mages and apprentices…I saw friends die. That part I didn't tell my parents, I don’t know if I can tell anyone, especially with who helped them do it…I never thought I’d see him again after the Seeker showed up…I pray to Andraste that I never see him again._

_Word is, the Divine has called a Conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, trying to get the mages and Templars to talk, to end the war. I’m headed there now to be a delegate…don’t know what good that’s going to do…but somehow I suspect my name will come into play…I hope not, I don’t like appearing to be putting on airs, it always seems to work against me._

_Time to get some sleep, hopefully I can avoid the nightmare…I haven’t yet, but it has only been two days…will it get better?_


	2. Traveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today has been a day of traveling. I’m going to say this now, I’m not a fan of traveling. Thanks to my family, we managed to get a few horses, not enough for all of us, so we’ve been switching off…not sure which form of travel I like least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation.

_9:40 Dragon Age – 17th day of Cassus, Day 2_

_Traveling_

_Today has been a day of traveling. I’m going to say this now, I’m not a fan of traveling. Thanks to my family, we managed to get a few horses, not enough for all of us, so we've been switching off…not sure which form of travel I like least. Walking hurts my feet and riding hurts my butt. By the end of the day (yes I know it’s only been two days) we’re exhausted. Maybe I’ll get used to it one day…having spent my life in the Circle Tower or riding in carriages as a child spoiled me I think._

_We have a couple of Templars traveling with us, they were part of the group I liked and trusted. They helped us get out of the Tower (thank the Maker for them, because others were killed for helping us). They’re traveling with us for protection…just in case we run into Templars looking to hunt down mages…from the stories we've heard as we talk to the locals, they’re out there._

_Part of me always wanted to leave the Circle, but I knew it wasn't likely to happen. Now that I've left, I’d really like to go back…in retrospect, it wasn't all that bad, especially once he was gone. Even when he was there, things weren't always bad; I was fed, housed, and clothed as well as educated history and in using my magic, I didn't want to have any more accidents._

_Someone found a hot spring nearby and it’s almost time for the women to get their turn in it, I intend to soak away my aches and pains._


	3. Danger on the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was not a good day…we ran into trouble, twice actually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation. This is the first time she's ever had to use her magic in a fight.

_9:40 Dragon Age – 19th day of Cassus, Day 4_

_Danger on the Road_

_Today was not a good day…we ran into trouble, twice actually. The first was from a small group of bandits. The Templars moved to face the ones we could see. We formed into three groups (the Templars, I think their names are Ackley and Ronen – really should ask them sometime – have spent time training us to be ready in case we have to defend ourselves), three mages on each end and four mages in the middle close enough to the Templars to cast barrier spells to help them. Each group of mages had at least one of us that was better at healing, that would not have been me. I've never actually been in a fight until today and given that the other mages have spent most of their lives in a Circle Tower, I doubt they had either._

_We were getting ready to help the Templars, but a few of us were supposed to hold back in case there were rogues using stealth to hide. Guess what, there were and one of them decided to sneak up on me, I got two daggers in my back. The healers fixed me up later, but there was no time. Somehow I managed to keep my wits and cast a barrier spell; just in time too because a mage fireball bit the barrier seconds after I cast it. I sent a Winter’s Grasp spell in the direction I thought the mage was and got lucky. Another spell hit the barrier on the mage next to me. I sent a chaining lighting spell and managed to get both of the mages attacking us. It gave the other mages in my group a place to focus their spells. One of the groups on the end worked on the rogues and the other group helped the Templars. The plan worked, we’d managed to do enough damage and they retreated, we let them go knowing they wouldn't be back._

_After I was healed, they let me ride (still hurt, being on a horse, the ride is not exactly smooth). My wounds are healing, but I’m stiff and sore. I still don’t like travelling, it’s worse injured._

_Things were fine the rest of the day until it started to get late and were looking for a place to camp. The sun was starting to set and we were approaching a bridge. There were four dark silhouettes walking across the bridge towards us. A glint of sun caught their armor and we saw the symbol of the Templars. I’d been more nervous than scared during the first fight, now I was scared, they could cancel out our powers and then it would be up to our two Templars companions to stop them…we sort of had a plan for this too, we spread out wider; all abilities that effect certain areas, have a radius, Templar abilities are no different and they are not able to use their version of dispel right away; having enough space between us would mean the abilities would affect fewer when used and more mages would be able to attack them._

_Amazingly enough, it worked. None of us were injured and the Templars retreated, looking rather humiliated. It was an empowering feeling…_

_We set-up camp in a wooded clearing and arranged watches. I’m on watch now with another mage. He’s better at traps than I am, so he put them out around the edge of the camp. It will be good to get to sleep once my watch is over. This is not going to be an easy trip and I doubt my life is ever going to be as easy as it was at the Tower, unless somehow an agreement is made to reestablish them without the abuses…the stories I've heard are horrible. We had problems in Ostwick, but it seems there were Circles that were even worse off than we were._


	4. Arriving in Kirkwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we had a major change of scene today, we arrived in Kirkwall. The city is slowly trying to recover from all the chaos of the Kirkwall Rebellion and the Qunari attacks. This is where the bigger rebellion was triggered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation.

_9:40 Dragon – 27 th day of Cassus, Day 11_

_Arriving in Kirkwall_

_So we had a major change of scene today, we arrived in Kirkwall. The city is slowly trying to recover from all the chaos of the Kirkwall Rebellion and the Qunari attacks. This is where the bigger rebellion was triggered._

_A few days before we arrived, we happened upon a merchant. We stopped to see what he had, turns out he sold clothes. Three of us (us being mages) already had gotten rid of our mage robes, the other seven still had them. He had enough clothing for all seven. The Templars paid the merchant, some of the money was their own, but most of it was mine._

_I suppose I better explain that; in case one day someone reads this; right after we escaped the Circle, we found an abandoned structure to hide in. The Templars left us to go get supplies, they would be stopped less than we would. Before they left, I told them I was going to make my way home, I needed to let my family know what had happened and I also hoped they would be able to help us out, maybe someplace we could hide. I would meet up with the group in no more than two days._

_I saw my family, as I mentioned before. I grabbed some clothes; I didn't want to wear my mage robes, they’re a little conspicuous. I grabbed some extra clothes for some of the others as well. My parents gave me some money and horses, while suggesting I head to the Conclave as a delegate for the Ostwick Circle (even though it was no more). I also grabbed the stash of money I’d been saving from my hiding spot in my room. My brother caught me, we said goodbye…I will miss all my siblings…_

_I rejoined the group, with quite a bit of money. I kept a small amount and gave the rest to the Templars for traveling expenses…they were surprised to say the least and I told them not to mention where it came from._

_When we could just barely see the city, we found a small cave and stashed our staves as well as any other supplies that would mark us as mages; we weren't sure how popular we’d be; then we entered the city. It was large and intimidating, as well as a bit scary. We split up and were to meet back at the main gate before the sun started to set. I explored Kirkwall. I wandered the streets, listening and talking to people. The rebellion was a common topic. Some people were talking about the Conclave, especially as it relates to a man they referred to as Knight-Captain Cullen. He was Knight-Captain in Kirkwall during the situation with Meredith and sided with the Champion against her, I can’t imagine a Templar ever going against their Knight-Commander like that, but it seems this man is different than other Templars; maybe like those that saved our lives. A Seeker showed up and asked him to go with her. No one seems to know what she wants him to do, but they miss him, they say he was a big part of rebuilding Kirkwall and he helped save lives._

_I talked to some of the merchants, I was looking to buy some luxuries, being in a Circle I never got to do that. It was nice talking to people like I was normal and not some freak that could into an abomination and slaughter everyone. Someone noticed my necklace and I got a discount…I bought a scented shampoo and soap (I know they won’t be of use while traveling, but maybe someday I can use them), a flint and steel, a flask, some candles and a nice whetstone. That is more than I've ever purchased on my own, it felt good. I know I have no real use for a whetstone, something told me to get it, so I did, smiling the whole time._

_I met up with the group again. It was getting dark, so we went and retrieved our equipment, then made our way to the docks to board the ship. Our staves didn't seem to bother them. I've never been on a boat journey before, this will be interesting. We're leaving in the morning and will sleep on the boat. I certainly hope I don’t get seasick._


	5. Jader and Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boat trip is done, I think I prefer traveling by boat over walking and riding; probably I was one of the few people who didn't get seasick. The water wasn't that rough any way, although I suspect some of the others will disagree with me (I shouldn't laugh at them for having issues, but it makes me want to chuckle).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation. Katelyn talks about a dream she had where it seems she might have been in someone else's dream.

_9:40 Dragon – 29th day of Cassus, Day 13_

_Jader and Beyond_

_Our boat trip is done, I think I prefer traveling by boat over walking and riding; probably because I was one of the few people who didn't get seasick. The water wasn't that rough any way, although I suspect some of the others will disagree with me (I shouldn't laugh at them for having issues, but it makes me want to giggle). Sleeping on the boat was also better than sleeping on the ground, the rocking seemed to help me get to sleep faster._

_We didn't stay long in Jader, we tried to move through as quickly as possible given we had all our gear on. We got looks, but nothing overly hostile._

_We have started to head to the gates of Orzammar. I’m not even sure what that’s going to look like, I've never even met a dwarf. Will I get to meet a dwarf; that could be interesting? In my studies, I remember learning that dwarfs don’t like coming to the surface. If a dwarf stays above ground too long, they lose their standing; I believe they call them castes. Surfacer dwarves, as I believe their called, are not allowed to go back and rejoin their families. It almost sounds like joining the Circle, mages seldom ever get to see their families again, most families don’t want them back, except for mine of course; although they wish that I’d not been born a mage and had been born in my sister’s place…that is a long story that I've gone over in other journals and I don’t feel like repeating. I will write this, my sister does not deserve what they put her through and if I had more of a backbone, I’d tell my parents to back off her and let her do what she chooses. Time to drop that topic._

_I can’t believe First Day is approaching. Every year in the Circle there was a large celebration and we were allowed to use our magic to celebrate. My family came, since I was refusing all visits home, they had to. It was good to see them; Rylan came with his wife and children last year. We don’t get to do that this year…_

_I had a strange dream while I was on the boat…I was in a strange building, there were bodies and horrible things all over the place. I started walking through the place; underneath all the gore, it almost felt like I was walking through a Circle, it was definitely not the Ostwick Circle. I found stairs going up and I thought I heard someone asking for help. I also heard whispering, like there were spirits or other things nearby. I drew my staff and got ready to protect myself if it was needed, then headed up the stairs. The smell was horrible and the gore was worse (I hope I never dream about this place again, but it almost didn't feel like my dream). I heard someone talking, it was more than the whispers and a man who sounded in distress, so I followed it._

_The dream got a little fuzzy at this point, kind of literally, it became harder to see the further I went, like there was less light; I would jump at shadows because I had no idea what I was walking into. The man was still talking, but a strange female voice joined his. If I was right, it was the voice of demon torturing him (I have no idea why I was dreaming this, but since I was, I felt compelled to help). I took a deep breath and went into the room where I heard the voices. It was a tall room with stairs leading up, but that wasn't what drew my attention; there was a desire demon hovering in front of a shimmering wall of magic. She was taunting a man on the other side of the wall; he was begging it to go away, saying he wasn't going to be broken. He sounded like he was in so much pain and I wanted to help him, that meant taking out the desire demon (guess there’s a first time for everything, even though she probably wasn't real). I raised my staff and started attacking the demon, she was not happy, but I ended up beating her. She went up in flame._

_The man looked at me and started ordering me to go away. I noticed he had blond hair and Templar armor. ‘I am not part of your nightmares,’ I told him. ‘I just wanted to help. The demon is gone and I’m going to see if I can remove that barrier, please stand back,’ I then told him. He seemed to listen to me and backed up. I started working on the barrier and it collapsed._

_He weakly stood up and started advancing towards me. ‘You’re a mage…mages did this, they need to be killed,’ he said._

_I backed up several steps. ‘I didn't do this, I don’t even know what this place is. Somehow I came to be here and all I did was help you. We are in the Fade and you are dreaming. I don’t know what the origin of your dream is, but you can fight it if you have the will.’_

_‘Blood mages, they attacked…’_

_‘Blood magic is dangerous, everyone knows it, but most mages don't use it, please remember that. Right now you need to wake up.’_

_He seemed to be looking at me. ‘You have red hair…’_

_I smiled, ‘The bane of my life, but yes it’s red and it matches my temper. Wake up Templar.’_

_The building faded as I assume he woke up. I woke up in a cold sweat, no one seemed to notice. I will say it again, I hope I don’t have that dream again._


	6. Gates of Orzammar and First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we've arrive at the gates of Orzammar… they’re impressive to say the least. The entrance to the dwarven kingdom is built into the mountainside and goes up so high that I doubt even a giant (which I never seen) could reach the top. The doors are intricate and beautifully made. The entire entrance is covered in carvings and stonework; quite impressive and very spectacular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation.

_9:41 Dragon – 1st of Verimensis – Day 15_

_Gates of Orzammar and First Day_

_So we’ve arrive at the gates of Orzammar… they’re impressive to say the least. The entrance to the dwarven kingdom is built into the mountainside and goes up so high that I doubt even a giant (which I never seen) could reach the top. The doors are intricate and beautifully made. The entire entrance is covered in carvings and stonework; quite impressive and very spectacular._

_Below the steps up to the doors is a small market area where people have stalls selling their wares, most of them are dwarven. There is a small raised dais in the center of the market. It doesn't seem to serve a purpose. The dwarves are shorter than I thought they’d be (I’m not about to tell them that). All the men have beards and most of them seem to have a flash attached to their belts, that I’m going to guess is filled with some sort of dwarven ale (I've heard they’re good at making ale – not that ale is normally my drink of choice, I tend toward wine, but if there is no other choice, I can do ale)._

_Ronen and Ackley are doing most of the talking, but the dwarves seem to know we’re mages and it doesn't bother them, probably because dwarves can’t be mages and haven’t had it drilled into their heads that magic is dangerous and those you can use it are even worse. It’s nice not having people stare at me with fear in their eyes. A dwarven woman walked up to me. She seemed pleasant, with her red hair and brown eyes. There is also a tattoo on her cheek. I was tempted to ask about it as several of the dwarves in the area had them, but I decided against it. I assume they have some significance in dwarven society, but that wasn't something that came up in my study of dwarves._

_We talked casually at first and then she said I seemed to be pretty for a human woman; she claimed to know several dwarves that would rut me for the right price. The mere implication made me pale slightly as I remembered…instead of dwelling it, on something that happened back in the Circle, I took a deep breath and gripped my staff tightly (I was attempting to use it like a walking stick). She didn't seem worried and that built my confidence as I thought about hitting her with a spell. Ronen cleared his throat nearby and distracted me. I told her I wasn’t interested in that. She then said, ‘You’re a mage, aren't you…’ I was on my guard then, ready for anything, but not what came. She went on, ‘Don’t worry about me, but I have some lyrium that you and you’re Templars may find useful.’ Ronen was close enough to hear her. We exchanged a look and the dwarf and I started negotiating a deal for the lyrium. She had it in both two forms, potion form like mages use and in the form that Templars use. Ronen paid her. She then mentioned that it might be wise to camp for the night in the market area, up on the dais, but we would have to talk to the guards. Ackley went and did that. We got permission to camp on the dais, with a promise that we would use our magic to help celebrate First Day (I guess even dwarves acknowledge it)._

_Once camp was set-up, the celebration started. Several mages shot off magical energy blasts into the sky that burst and rained down in various ways. It was rather spectacular (I need to ask them how to do that, someday it might be a fun trick to learn). A couple of the dwarves brought a barrel of ale and people started drinking. I sat alone, not drinking, just watching (I haven’t had a drink of anything since he left). As I sat there I pulled my knees up to my chest as I wondered what my family was doing and missing the Circle. I don’t mean to say it’s not nice to be seeing more of the world, but the cost is too high. There is no Circle for me to go back to (the building was on fire as we left), I’m away from my family on First Day for the first time in 10 years (we missed a year because of the birth of my nephew) and even though I’m an apostate like the rest of them, I am still and always will be a Trevelyan. No matter how much I want it, I will never be exactly like them and they know it._

_After a few hours, I got up and went to bed. A couple people saw me, but no one seemed to care. Maybe instead of the normal nightmare, I’ll dream of my family tonight, I would love to see them, even if it’s just in my dreams. I write this before I attempt to fall asleep as the festivities continue._


	7. The Unforgettable Man in My Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In my last entry, I wrote that I hoped I would dream about my family on First Day. That didn’t happen on First Day, it happened last night and I’ve just woken up. The dream is so different than any I’ve ever had; the details are vivid, almost like they’ve happened, but I know they haven’t. The dream is starting to fade, so I am going to write it down, because parts of it will linger with me for the rest of my life and the parts that do not, I want to make sure I remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before Lady Trevelyan becomes known as the Herald of Andraste and claims the title Inquisitor. She has been forced to leave her Circle and is on her way to the Conclave based on her parents recommendation. Katelyn is writing to capture the details of a dream with a very handsome man. The dream was so vivid it was almost like memory. She might even be falling for her dream man.

**_9:41 Dragon – 6 th of Verimensis – Day 20 (morning)_ **

**_The Unforgettable Man in My Dream_ **

 

**_There hasn’t been much to write about. We’ve been traveling, nothing really exciting has happened; except for the fire that one of the Elven mages set (I think his name is Falos)._ **

**_In my last entry, I wrote that I hoped I would dream about my family on First Day. That didn’t happen on First Day, it happened last night and I’ve just woken up. The dream is so different than any I’ve ever had; the details are vivid, almost like they’ve happened, but I know they haven’t. The dream is starting to fade, so I am going to write it down, because parts of it will linger with me for the rest of my life and the parts that do not, I want to make sure I remember._ **

 

_I’m at one of the horrid parties my parents like to throw whenever they are trying to marry me off. I’m in one of those low-cut way too fancy gowns they always buy me for these parties and I always feel so exposed. This one is even more revealing; most of my back is exposed and the top of my chest is clearly visible. My hair is in a half braid up-do, with the down portion on my neck and swept over my shoulder. I don’t recall ever having my hair long enough to do this._

_In the back of my mind, I wonder why I even agreed to this, after the last disaster while I was still in the Circle. The thought gives me pause. I know I’m traveling across Thedas on my way to the Conclave. ‘Why am I at a ball in the first place,’ I wonder. A voice; the one I always hear in my head and sometimes argue with; speaks up and points out, ‘Because you’re here with him.’_

_I’m very confused by that, who is the voice referring to. A part of me seems to know exactly who the voice means; is excited by it and annoyed that “my” parents are trying to keep us apart. That annoys me too. I’m becoming very curious who this him is._

_The party is in full swing, but it is different than the others. My parents are good at throwing parties; my Aunt usually helps them; so everyone is enjoying themselves. Men have always noticed me, especially in the fancy dresses that show off my figure. This time everyone is looking at me. I’ve never liked being the center of attention, so it is very unnerving. I…we avoid making eye contact with everyone._

_“Not enjoying the attention, my Lady,” a rather sexy male voice asks from in front of me._

_I turn my head and look at him. The first thing I notice are his amber eyes that are looking directly at me, with what I can only describe as heat in his gaze. It certainly warms me up. My eyes move down to his mouth; his lips are curled up in a smirk and there is a scar on his upper lip that is several inches long and really sexy. Between the heat in his eyes, the smirk on his lips and that scar, I feel my knees go weak. I don’t collapse, but it’s close._

_Before I know what is happening, I’m replying. “Not at all, you know how I hate being the center of attention.”_

_His smirk deepens and nearly I lose my balance again. That smirk, those lips and eyes, even when I wake up, I doubt I’ll ever forget them._

_As I talk, I decide to get a better look at Mister Handsome. I start at his hair which is curly and blonde; it almost feels like I’d seen him before, but I can’t place him. Then I look at the rest of him. He is wearing a red formal military-like jacket with a blue sash, brown gloves and red pants. I glance down and notice that my dress is the same color as his sash. The coat and pants seem a bit snug; well maybe they are just well-fitted to his body, which if what I can see under his clothing is any indication is a very fit body…_

_A body I wouldn’t mind checking out_

 

**_…wait where did that thought come from, I don’t regret thinking it, but I’m trying to get the dream down and I shouldn’t be having random thoughts like that, let alone writing them down so freely. Well back to the dream detail and not the hot man in the dream._ **

 

_“See anything you like, my Lady,” he asks._

_I can feel myself smirk and my head tilts slightly as I run my eyes up and down his body._

_“Very much so,” I reply._

_His smirk gets bigger. I present my right hand to him. He takes it, brings it to his mouth and kisses it. I watch his face as he kisses my hand and there is even more heat in his eyes._

_“I do wish people would stop staring at me,” I say._

_“In that dress, how could anyone not notice you, my lady,” he says, his voice has a slightly husky tone to it._

_I suddenly feel very warm. This has to be “the him” the voice mentioned. I can see how this man would make me willing to attend one of my parents’ parties._

_“The dress was not my choice as you well know,” I reply._

_“You may not have chosen it, my lady, but you look more stunning that I have ever seen you look in anything previously. You are the star of this party and you are all mine,” he finishes, a possessiveness in his tone._

_That’s when I realize that his use of “my lady” is not the honorific title being a Trevelyan grants me, he means it personally. That realization and the look in his eyes causes my heart to literally flutter in a way it never has before. I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks and a heat building in my groin._

_I’m about to say ‘I can’t wait for this nuisance to be over’…_

 

**_This is a dream, why not enjoy myself with this man who obviously has some sort of relationship with dream me – it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex; the last was before he left the Circle and that was not sex I wanted to have…in dreams one should enjoy themselves._ **

 

_…when I hear a voice I haven’t heard in years, the voice of Garrick LaFaille, a man my mother has tried to marry me off to more than once._

_“Lady Katelyn Trevelyan, it has been too long and you look ravishing this evening,” he says with definite lewdness in his voice that makes my skin crawl._

_I grimace at his tone. Before I look at him, I look at Mister Handsome. He’s moved to the side slightly, taken a step closer to me and has turned towards Garrick. The smirk is gone, replaced by an entirely different look; his eyebrows are drawn together, his mouth is set in hardline and his eyes have a hardness to them; this look is directed at Garrick._

_I turn and look at Garrick. The first place I look are his eyes, which are filled with a crude hunger that makes me almost feel violated and causes a shudder to run through my body. I can feel Mister Handsome move even closer to me. I catch a hint of elderflowers, oak moss, leather, and a very masculine musk. He puts his hand on the back of my waist. His touch momentarily distracts me from Garrick; I can feel the heat of his body through his glove and my dress; it is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever felt. Maker’s breath, I’m lucky to be standing after that._

_Garrick gives me the once over and then notices Mister Handsome. They look at each other and I’m pretty sure they don’t like each other, because Mister Handsome moves even a little closer and so close that I can feel the heat of his body._

_I meet Garrick’s eyes and make sure to keep my face neutral as I say, “It has been a long time, Garrick…I believe it was the last time my parents threw a party that I attended,” I start to say and then my voice goes on without me, “I have been rather busy since then.”_

_“You have indeed, all of Thedas knows what you’ve done. It is very impressive; as are you, Kat.”_

_I shoot him a glare, no one but my friends call me Kat and I have never considered Garrick a friend._

_Mister Handsome’s grip on my waist tightens slightly. “Unless you have suddenly become one of her close friends, the proper form of address for you is Lady Trevelyan…” he starts to say._

_I turn my head to look at him surprised to have him defend me._

 

**_I can get used to this, but it’s only a dream._ **

 

_As I look at Mister Handsome, they exchange more words, which I don’t hear._

_He sees me looking at him and smirks. I blush then look at Garrick again._

_“I see you have a personal bodyguard…Lady Trevelyan,” Garrick states, distain dripping from his voice._

_I can feel myself smirk. “He is so much more than that as I’m sure you’ve heard,” my voice starts without me. I then take over, “I also seem to recall you showing a great of deal of interest in me at that last party and suddenly disappearing. I went to look for you. I found you getting ready to leave. You accused me of hiding the truth about being a mage, which if you had paid any real attention you would have known for I frequently talked about where I was living. Anyone who mattered knew my home was the Circle in Ostwick. You only had one interest and that was advancing yourself by marriage to a Trevelyan, you didn’t care to pay attention to anything else. You’re lucky I am a very disciplined mage as someone less disciplined would have used their magic on you for the way you behaved. You made your feelings quite clear and I will make mine clear now, I never had any interest in you than and I do not have any interest in you now, nor do I think I ever will.”_

_Garrick glares at me, then scowls and walks away. Mister Handsome moves even closer, I can feel his warm breath on my ear._

_“That was very very sexy, my lady…if that man attempts to bother you again, I will deal with him personally,” he says with a husky tremor in his voice. He gives me a couple of light kisses below my ear and slowly moves down to my neck. “How much longer do we have to stay at this,” he murmurs against my skin._

_I close my eyes and quietly moan at the feel of his lips on my skin. “Do you have plans?”_

_“Lots of them, but none of them I dare voice in public, my love,” he whispers in my ear._

_Wow, that “my love” he says makes my entire body feel flush and more heat builds between my legs. What this man is doing to me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and it is wonderful._

_I reach back and put my hand on the back of his head, running my fingers through his silky curls. He starts his light kisses again. I close my eyes and lean back against him. I can feel the heat of his body against mine. He wraps his arm all the way around me._

_“We are drawing quite the attention, my lady,” he says in my ear._

_“In your arms nothing seems to matter.”_

 

**_Wow, where did that come from…moving on now._ **

 

_He moans against my neck. “I love you, Kat,” he whispers to me._

_His words seem to draw all the breath from my lungs. I turn my head and look at him. Our eyes meet. The heat is back and with a lot of desire added._

 

**_I don’t know if it’s possible to fall in love with someone in a dream, but I’m fairly sure I’m falling in love with him, even as I recall him to write this._ **

 

_He moves his face closer. I can feel his breath against my skin. I take a deep breath as I move my eyes to his lips…_

 

**_Damn those lips!_ **

 

_…I then move my eyes back to his. Without even having to think about it, I whisper, “I love you too.”_

 

**_I don’t see how I could be in love with him, but I’m definitely feeling something and it is closer to love than I’ve ever felt before. It was also the right thing to say at that moment._ **

 

_He smirks and moves all the way in. He is gentle at first as he takes my lips in his. It doesn’t take me long to respond and soon all I know is that kiss. His tongue is in my mouth and mine is in his. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like this before…_

 

**_That’s when I woke up. The dream is fading fast now. The details will probably fade over time, but that man; his eyes, his lips and that scar, his silky blond curls, his touch and that kiss are going to stay with me the rest of my life. I don’t know if he exists outside my dream, but if he does Maker help me because I will be lost._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the formatting is too awkward, I am trying to separate the dream story from her journal writing.


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